Costello family vacation 2013

This year we switched it up from our usual route to the Outer Banks and headed to Union Pier, Michigan for our annual family vacation. It was my first time visiting the beaches of Lake Michigan and let me tell you, I didn't miss the ocean for even one second. Lake Michigan has pristine white sand, clear calm water, gentle rolling waves, and breathtaking sunsets. And it was only a 5 hour drive, which is like winning the lottery with 3 antsy kids. This year we were 17 adults and 18 kids under one roof and it was loud and messy and so much fun. As always, this trip wouldn't happen without the generosity of John's parents blessing us with this chance to be together for one uninterrupted week. We are so thankful that every member of the family makes it a priority to come and make these special memories. Here is the highlight reel:

 

 



Activation Day

June 10th, 2013 was Gavin's hearing birthday. The first day he's ever heard sound of any sort. A day we'd been waiting for since he was 4 weeks old. And what a cherished and miraculous memory it will forever be for us. We are so thankful for this amazing technology that enables kids- who would've otherwise gone their entire lives stuck in a silent world-to finally hear. Now the hard work really begins for us and for Gavin as we work to catch him up on a lost year of speech and listening. Cochlear implants certainly aren't an instantaneous "fix." It will be through weekly speech therapy sessions and a continuous devotion to practice and repetition of sounds and listening that Gavin will learn to communicate and develop normal speech just like any other kid. It will be harder for him and wont come as naturally as it does for others, but due to his early implantation age, Gavin's prognosis is excellent and his speech should be clear and entirely unaffected as he grows. We are praising Jesus for bringing us over the hurdle of the past year and back to the starting line of a fresh new beginning for our precious son.

 

"Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

 

-Dr. Seuss

 

  

Gavin's 1st Birthday

       Gavin tuned one on June 6th and we celebrated with a pool party at my parent's backyard retreat. It was a beautiful afternoon and we filled the backyard with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and lots of happy, splashing kiddos. Gavin loves to be in the water and seemed quite pleased by the chosen venue. What a blessing to celebrate this guy's first year of life and the adventures that await him in the year to come. 

Gavin,

Wow, what a year it has been. Holding you for the first time in that hospital room, I had no idea how much our lives were going to be changed by your arrival or just how far out of our comfort zone God was going to ask us to step. We were so unprepared for the heartbreak we would feel when we were blindsided by your diagnoses. A parent can never be prepared for that. I held you and wept over you for hours and days and weeks trying to wrap my mind around what wasn't supposed to be happening. You were so perfect to us, so tiny and full of possibilities. I thought I would never be able to look at you without feeling overwhelming sadness and that physical ache in my heart. The road ahead looked dark and unfamiliar and I just wanted to go backwards, back to the delivery room, back to the naivety of not knowing.

But then slowly, tenderly, God showed us how to be brave. He reminded us that HE created you. That HE knit you together so perfectly for us and that HE never makes mistakes. God asked us to be brave for you, to teach you to hold your head high and be strong, even when it seems scary. He reminded us that HE was dancing over you and that He was so delighted in you. He urged us to speak boldness over you and pray continuously that your testimony would point to Jesus. He assured us that He would walk the dark and unfamiliar road beside us, and carry us when we thought we couldn't go on. He called us to rest in His peace-the peace that passes earthly understanding- and entrust you to Him. He promised that He was far bigger than anything we would ever face on earth so we didn't need to be afraid.

And we began to heal. We began to get stronger and we began to see God's heart for you. When we look at you now we are filled with indescribable joy. What a faithful God we serve. He will never let go of your hand, Gavin. God has called you to be a mighty warrior for Him. Your hearing loss will never define you. It will only give you a deeper compassion for the needs of others and ears finely tuned to the voice of God. Your testimony has only just begun. Happy first birthday, our sweet and charming boy. How very lucky we are to be your mommy and daddy.

xoxo

The Surgery

Friday was the day we've been waiting for ever since Gavin was 4 weeks old and we received the devastating diagnosis of his profound hearing loss. Although back then, it was more of a "worst case scenario" and "we doubt it will ever be necessary" kind of thing. Cochlear implant surgery. A year ago, I didn't even know what that meant. I'd never heard of a cochlear implant. I'd never even seen a hearing aid up close. I couldn't imagine that my son would ever have to wear something like that. Why would he? This kind of thing just didn't happen to our family. This must be a mistake. What would everyone think? How awful for him, for us.

I feel like I don't even recognize that girl who had those thoughts while holding her 4 week old son last year. I was prideful, and selfish, and oh so hung-up on what a "perfect" American family should look like. I had no idea how much God was going to rock our world when He gave us Gavin. We were so unprepared, so scared. But God wasn't.

Flash forward to 11 months- months of fruitless hearing-aid attempts, 150 doctor's appointments, one unsuccessful attempt after another to get sound into Gavin's ears-and what a different tune we were singing. We became desperate for the cochlear implant surgery. We talked about it all the time. We couldn't wait to have a surgery date on the calendar, because we knew it was the only way Gavin was going to hear. Of course we prayed, begged, and pleaded with God to heal our son. We never stopped praying and crying out to Him. But God's ways are not our ways, and while we waited for His healing, God gave us the peace and confirmation to continue moving forward toward the surgery. We both felt so confident (and terrified!) that God was leading us to cochlear implants.

May 24th came, and as we drove to the hospital before the sunrise, we couldn't believe it was actually the day. The beginning of Gavin's journey to hear. We were so ready. Not ready for that moment when you kiss your baby goodbye and they wheel him away to the operating room while he looks at you confused and scared. It is impossible to be ready for that. But our hearts were leaping with joy because we knew that this  was only the beginning. We've met with families who have been here before us and we've seen their children talking, and turning their heads when their name is called, and hearing the birds chirping. Now it was Gavin's turn.

The surgery couldn't have gone any better. The doctor, who was doubtful that he would be able to implant both ears at once and told us that we might have to come back again in a few months, was amazed by how smoothly it went. But God wasn't. Our family and friends who have been prayer warriors for us from day 1 weren't either. God has been holding this little one in his hands before we ever got to.

We came home that afternoon with both implants in place and a huge bandage around Gavin's head. The recovery so far has been hard. Harder than we expected. Its terrible to watch your baby screaming in pain and miserable and not be able to take it from them. After 2 days he is slowly starting to feel better though and we are delighted when he smiles or laughs at something like he used to. Hopefully in a few more days he will be back to his old, silly self. And now we wait. It's a bit anticlimactic actually, because after you get the surgery, there is a 2-3 week waiting period before the implants are "activated" or turned on. This is to allow for complete healing of the incisions. Our activation date is June 10th. It will forever be Gavin's hearing birthday. I don't think it would be possible to explain the emotions that we are feeling about that day. I just have no words. What a miracle it will be.

Thank you for your encouragement through this process, for your prayers and notes, and hugs. Gavin's story is already such a testimony of God's lavish love through the body of Christ. We are just surrounded by love and support, without which, we certainly would have fallen apart.

 Pre-op cuddles

Recovery room

Day 2 at home-starting to feel a little better

Happy Birthday Norah Dee!

 I have to admit, this birthday was a tough one for me. There is something so fleeting and unbelievably precious about the innocence of a 2-year-old daughter. I was kind of hoping that Norah might just stay our little one forever. But alas, May 1st came and went and now she is 3. I'm praying this isn't the year that she stops asking for a "yoyurk carfe" for breakfast, or else my heart might break.

Norah Dee, it is an honor to have you as a daughter. Your personality is like a jar of jumping jelly beans. Everything delights you, everything makes you laugh, everything is the best news you've ever heard in your life. Except when it's not. And then oh boy, do you ever know how to pout. You bounce through your days eager for the next activity and always up for anything your big brother tells you to do. Because of him, you've learned how to be pretty tough. You request peanut butter and jelly every single day for lunch even though you never eat more than 2 bites and then lose interest. You are persistent and silly and great at making other people feel special. You love with your whole heart and its pretty easy to be melted by your cuteness...even when you're really really mad.
Happy 3 years sweet girl!

Happy Birthday Eli!

Yesterday Eli turned 5 years old. It turns out he inherited his mother's slight (barely noticeable really) tendency to be a birthday diva. We heard a lot of, "I can do that because it's MY birthday", and "Its still my day, my birthday isn't over until next week" kind of comments. I'm sure it will be just as charming when I repeat those sentiments come August. But anyway, he was one excited little boy. We celebrated with an overnight hotel trip, lots of swimming, eating out, ice-cream, new golf clubs, his pick of the dinner menu, and more ice-cream.

 

Eli, what a huge personality you have. You are loud and strong and can talk just about any of your friends into doing anything you come up with. Already, you are such a leader. You are the best child-negotiator I've ever met and will someday have quite the booming sales career, if you don't end up competing for the MMA championship instead. Your favorite question is "why" and you tell BIG stories, so we know you have a  fantastic imagination that will always keep you dreaming. You are tenderhearted and kind, and love to do things that will make people feel happy. You have a keen sense of observation, often complimenting me on a new shirt or the way I've rearranged the pantry. Life is one big race to you, and you are in it to win it. If we give you a task and a timer countdown, you will not disappoint in meeting any goals. God knew that your parents could never be satisfied with a docile, laid-back, shy little boy. And so he gave us you. And we couldn't be more thankful for the amazing kid that you are becoming. You are going to be a world changer, little one.

Happy 5 years! xoxo

 

Is this thing on?

Since I've fallen way too far behind to give a detailed account of all the happenings in our crazy, busy lives of late, I will borrow from my favorite FOX "News by the numbers" segment and fill you in with just the important stuff.

147-is the number of doctor's appointments I have driven Gavin to in his almost 10 short months of life. That is not a typo, I actually went back and counted. Need to be organized much?? This kid has a rap sheet a mile long and just about every specialty and sub-set of medicine has gotten their hands on him at some point.

6- has been the average number of appointments per week since Gavin was 3 weeks old.

3-is the number of ways I bribe Eli and Norah during above appointments. Tablet games, stickers, and lollipops. Because finding a babysitting 147 times just isn't possible. And they have been amazing through it all.

52- is the number of days until Gavin's cochlear implant surgery is scheduled. May 24th. We are finally in the home stretch! Praise God.

100,000- is the average cost of getting bilateral cochlear implants. Thank goodness for insurance, and secondary insurance, and a husband who is gainfully employed to cover the rest.

65- is the number of days until Gavin turns 1. And what a birthday present he will be receiving. If all goes according to plan, Gavin's implants should be getting activated right around his birthday. He will finally be able to hear us tell him how much we love him.  And oh what an earful he is going to get from me!

And that is the quick and dirty version of  a very long and trying past few months. We are thankful for God's leading and the peace we are feeling for Gavin's upcoming surgery. This passage has been my sanity check throughout the uncertainty and fear of this whole process. I hope it can be a blessing in your life as well.

" Oh people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears you, he will answer you. Although the Lord gives the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it."

 

-Isaiah 30:19-21