"oh mom, you're so right. people really don't appreciate your sense of humor like they should, 'cause girl you are cracking me up."
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
God's grace is sufficient for me today. If I start thinking about tomorrow or next week or sometimes even the next hour, I quickly become overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and overcome by fear. This is the greatest lesson I have learned over the past week. I have to trust God to help me through just today, and let everything else go. Some days its a lot harder than others.
Gavin received his hearing aids on Friday and we have been trying to adjust to our new normal. We didn't realize that our biggest challenge with hearing aids would be trying to keep them on our squirming, kicking, head thrashing baby. And although they are the smallest size they offer, they are huge on him. It is the constant battle to put them in again and again, hour after hour, day after day as he cries and pushes us away that has been the most draining emotionally. We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a device that is supposedly the best for keeping the aids in place on small infants. Hopefully that will make things easier for all of us, especially Gavin, who doesn't understand why we are forever pulling and poking at his little ears. In the meantime, as I write this Gavin is sleeping in the swing wearing Norah's pink-bowed headband as a temporary fix. Poor guy.
We are noticing that Gavin is more interactive and interested in his surroundings with the hearing aids, but we have no way of knowing at this point how much he is actually hearing. Eli and Norah acclimated to their brother's new gear without much fanfare and they are laying their sweet hands on his ears daily and praying for God to heal them. I love to listen to their innocent, simple prayers. "Work ears!" and "Jesus, make these ears open right up" and my favorite of Norah's- "Jesus pray that Gavin can hear me"
The next several months will be those of watching and waiting. Gavin's hearing will continue to be retested as he grows to gauge how much sound he is able to gain from the hearing aids. The levels will be adjusted as needed and we will continue to talk and talk and talk to him to give him as much language and hearing opportunities as possible.
And look at his sweet little face? So much personality already at only 2 months old. I just love him.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
I have been putting off this post for several weeks now. My heart had been too heavy to put into words the emotions I've been feeling and I just wasn't ready yet. And although I'm not sure I'll ever really be ready, I know we have friends that read this blog who care about our family and the happenings within it. The past 8 weeks with our sweet Gavin have been ones full of great joy intermixed with great sorrow. At 4 weeks old, Gavin was diagnosed with profound, bilateral hearing loss at a routine screening test. The type of loss he has is unexplained, it is life-altering, and it is permanent. And we know that Gavin belongs to a God who doesn't tremble at any diagnosis and can completely restore with a touch of His hand. So while we pray for healing every day, continuously, and will not cease; we are also taking the necessary medical steps on the path of helping Gavin to start hearing sounds. I am most heartbroken as a mom knowing that my child might someday feel different than other kids and will have to work harder and struggle more to gain skills that come naturally to most. I want to protect him from the hardship and pain that can come from having a disability, yet I know I wont always be able to. And it just kills me.
God, in His kindness has been giving John and I many small reminders of His presence and tender care for our family throughout this process. It truly has been a depiction of the 2 Corinthians verse "For when I am weak, then I am strong." We have been wrapped in love and support by our families and friends and covered by their prayers. John is my rock, always there to remind me that everything really will be okay and to pull me in for a warm hug when I'm losing my mind.
It has been a busy few weeks of appointments with audiologists, doctors, social workers, and care coordinators. We have been overwhelmed with information, pamphlets, programs, forms, and insurance uncertainties. But next Friday is a big day. Gavin will be fitted with his first pair of hearing aids and will be able to hear our voices for the first time. I am anxious to see how he reacts when he realizes our house isn't the quiet sanctuary he originally thought.
Thank you for your prayers and all the love you've been sending our way. God is good, even when we don't understand. 10,000 reasons for my heart to find.